Kinda Ironic

So, I am a May baby. Which means basically nothing, but since my birthday is coming up it means I had to renew my vehicle registration and this year I had to renew my driver’s license as well. I find it funny that I had to pay $62 dollars for a piece of paper and sticker whereas the plastic card that is a driver’s license is only $18.

Why are registration feels so expensive compared to license fees? Although, I guess I shouldn’t complain as my grandfather (another May baby) owed $128 for his renewal. Gotta love make, model, weight class, and year produced which causes the amount you owe to change from person to person, vehicle to vehicle.

Human Vultures

As I get older, it becomes increasingly clear that death, or the prospect thereof, turns humans into vultures. Now, not every person faced with the death of a loved one (or relative) turns into a money-grubbing, back-stabbing, hoarder and thief, but it seems to be a more common occurrence.

When my great grandmother was moved from her house to a nursing home, certain children swooped in on the empty house and began removing valuables without their siblings (or mother’s for that matter) consent or permission. Valuable things went missing, no one would admit that they were the ones who actually took it. Finger pointing and blame went all over and it just became ridiculous.

Even more ridiculous was trying to divide the property after my great grandmother’s death. Certain daughters believed they were entitled to more regardless of the constructs of the will.

Having heard and seen other families go through the same (or worse) inheritance struggles has only cemented into my mind the belief that death brings out the worst in people. What I find really amusing is when children start yelling at their parents for wasting away “their” (the kids’ not the parents’) money. How is it the children’s money when it is the parents’? Simply put, inheritance. As parents age, many children begin contemplating inheritance and what they can expect when their parents kick the proverbial bucket. It is disgusting.

But, I suppose the children who are straightforward and openly take stuff and start claiming their parents’ property is at least more honest than the underhand ones who sneak and steal. Recently, a neighbor’s wife was hospitalized with cancer. Her children don’t even visit her, but they go to her house and take her stuff. One child even steals money out of her purse. The father put his foot down and said they can’t take it, but what do they care? They come in and take it anyways. Besides, their dad is 85, he’ll be dead soon, too, so why does he need the stuff.

One son-in-law actually said that to his face. Unbelievable. As if having his wife of 50+ years in the hospital dying of cancer isn’t enough, he is faced with ignorance and greed from his children who should be giving their love and support.

Inheritance. Whatever. It is money for nothing. It doesn’t rightfully belong to anybody but the originators. I can understand getting back that which you have gifted to the deceased, but to go in willy-nilly and claim everything of value in sight is just plain, old-fashioned greed in any book.

My grandparents are doing their best to divide up the assets and to give back gifts before they die in order to help stop silly things like this from happening. But you never really know what will happen after you die and how the people around you will react.

Unfortunately, every family seems to have a vulture of some kind lurking in their midst, making an unhappy event even worse.

80s Generation Turns 30

It’s hard to believe, but if you were born in 1980, you’ll be 30 this year.  It is shocking to realize that the people born in my decade are starting to turn 30.  It is peeking just around the corner.  Not that 30 is by any means old (although it probably seemed that way when we were children), it is just kind of weird to think about.

It’s also weird to think about the 90s children are in high school, graduating high school, and some are even in college range and are getting ready to graduate college.  I spent the 90s in elementary school and middle school.  Hard to believe the babies born in that decade are as old as they are now.  I still think of my cousins born in 1996 as babies, but they’re turning 14 this year.  14!  I remember them from when they were just 4.  hard to believe it’s been ten years already.

You know, the sad thing is, looking back as we 80s children approach 30, more than half our lives (so far) consist of school. Kind of pathetic in a way, if you think about it – especially if you regard the downturn of education.  But I shouldn’t get started on another rant about education in Michigan and the US in general.

But anywho, Happy 30th 1980!

Unnecessarily Complicated

“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage . . .”

Ah, the good old days of watching the Bundys.  Not that this has anything to do with what I am talking about.  I just find the expectations placed on people amusing. And by expectations, I am referring to love, marriage, and children. Quite honestly, I do not understand the attraction of either marriage or children.

Gasp! Heaven forbid that I as a female would say that I do not believe in marriage and children. That makes me unnatural. Well, not that I truthfully care what others think, but I believe being “unnatural” is better in this day and age.  With an absurdly high divorce  rate, I have no intention of jumping into marriage or even getting married at all.

I have seen marriages fail. Multiple times. I have seen people together who should never have married in the first place and now live together in misery because they don’t want to admit they made a mistake. Divorce is wrong.  No, divorce is not wrong. Rushing into marriage before discussing the important things is wrong. But what would I know?

Well, let’s see. My parents were extremely incompatible and probably should have never married. When my dad remarried, it was like repeating the same mistake over. So, at the ripe old age of 39, my dad has been thrice married, twice divorced, which is better than my cousin’s track record who has been thrice married, twice divorced at a much younger age.

Even though I grew up in the loving two parent home of my grandparents, I have come to realize that I have no desire to get married. I really also have no desire to have children either. I like kids, but I know that I am not mother material and that I honestly do not want to raise any. People believe I will change my mind. It is entirely possible, but not foreseeable for quite some time at least.

My elder sister is happily married and is now expecting her first child. I am happy that she has found love and is fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother. I am not envious of her and her spouse. Marriage and motherhood have always been her dreams, never mine. At one point I thought I had those dreams too, but really that was me accepting what other people thought, not what I actually desired.

I know that I am not alone in feeling this way, but it always irks me that people think that this mentality is not normal. Friends tell me I have to get married and have children, so our kids can be friends and grow up together. Unfortunately, for them, I don’t plan on changing my mind. If I do, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, but I have realized in the past few years, I honestly do not desire the institution of marriage nor do I wish to bear children and as the years pass, that seems to become more firmly  rooted, not less.

Let the chips fall where they may. No one knows what ride life has in store for them.

Two Words

The weekend is almost here. I desperately want it to be here to escape from school for awhile. Tutoring in and of itself can be exhausting, especially when dealing with certain kinds of students. So, I say with joy, TGIT! I don’t work Fridays so TGIT indeed.

That is not the purpose of this post, though. Actually it is about two words that people should never use, or should use a heck of a lot less. Any ideas? I am sure there are plenty of two word phrases you shouldn’t use, but there is one that really needs to be moderated carefully: “I Promise.”

Why should these words be used with discretion? Think about the implications and messes caused by these two words alone (especially in regards to children). Hurt feelings and misunderstandings come with each broken promise, not to mention that a person’s faith and trust fails a little more each time a person breaks a promise.

The words “I promise” are used entirely too readily, without truly regarding whether or not what follows those words can actually be done. This is of course, not including people who promise just to promise and really have no intention of ever going through with their word. But you can usually figure out (albeit after a few disappointments) that you take what those people say with a grain of salt. No, the real problem lies with the unintentionally broken promise.

A person can make a promise and then fully intend to go through with it, but life just is not predictable. Things can change at a moments notice and before you know it, you could have just hurt someone by breaking the promise you were so sure you could fulfill. They say “hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned” and that is true, but it’s even worse to witness a child’s disappointment in you and it hurts to see them begin to go down the path of not trusting a word that parents or adults say. Though you really shouldn’t trust all parents and adults, it’s still hurtful to watch.

I have learned not to use those words, even if I am pretty sure I can actually achieve what I would promise. It is in fact a family rule to not make promises. If you don’t make them, you can’t break them and feelings can be spared and misunderstandings avoided. So next time those words are about to come out of your mouth, you might want to step back and think.

And does this have any basis whatsoever to my beginning? Yes, it actually does. I have made plans and definitely wanted to see them through, but it looks like my careful planning might come to naught. So, I have made it my responsibility to tell the friend I was supposed to visit that “I make no promises” because living with someone whose health is not good, it is hard to make plans and stick to them every time. Responsibility is grand.

Po-tay-toh, Po-tah-toh

The add old adage "you say po-tay-toh, I say po-tah-toh" is interesting. I am not talking about the meaning we get from this saying, but rather the fact that it is one word said two different ways. This is basically regional and where you grew up determines which pronunciation you use. It works with tomato and aunt as well as many other words.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, I wish to talk about one word, namely a name. The name being that of Leigh. So, how do you pronounce it? I am willing to bet that 99.99% of people will say Leigh is pronounced Lee. There is no other way to say it. Is that true?

Answer being, uh, no. It isn't true. There is another pronunciation to this name. What is it? It is lay. People scoff and sneer and say that makes no sense. Really? Let's take a wander down vocabularly lane, shall we? Evidence that it can (and probably should be) pronounced lay:

1. Sleigh (how do we say this word? slay! with the long a sound)
2. Raleigh (ok, some people will say raw-lee vs. raw-lay)
3. Eight (last time I checked it was pronounced ate, again long a sound)
4. Freight (frayte)
5. Weight (wait)
   

Enough with the word games. I know they are probably not the most convincing, but I just thought it was nice to point out. In the English language, what does the vowels 'ei' put together sound like? Think about feint (pronounced "faint" not "feent"). It is the "ie" combination that is actually pronounced as the long e sound versus the long a sound. Now, I am not saying that everytime "ei" is together it will be pronounced this way (like agreeing), but I am willing to say that the majority of words with "ei" should be pronounced with the long a sound.

So why do so many people pronounce Leigh as Lee vs. Lay? And why did I spend a whole blog post on this particular topic? Well, look at my name: Leighton Nichols (pronounced lay-ton). Tis a nom de plume, but Leighton is derived from my middle name, which is? You guessed it, Leigh. And no, it is not pronounced Lee. My father, for whatever confounding reason, gave me one of the commonest middle names and decided that it will be Lay vs. Lee.

It is a pet peeve of mine when people get the pronounciation of my middle name wrong. Petty? Probably, but it just annoys me. Just like when people start adding extra letters to my first name.

A Financial Quandry

Why is that institutions and programs that are supposed to be giving you money, always try to find ways to get out of it? Examples: Insurance Companies, Unemployment, and Medicare (which, technically, falls under insurance).

Oh, let’s start with unemployment. Besides the fact that money for unemployment is scarce due to the higher levels, especially in Michigan, they are really bad at getting money to people. Sometimes, even though a person is perfectly eligible to receive unemployment, they have to wait three to six months, sometimes longer, just to receive the biweekly unemployment they deserve, which in this economy is definitely a bad thing.

But that isn’t the bone I have to pick with unemployment.

It has been ingrained in all of us (or at least people who know anything about unemployment) that if you are a student (student here meaning college student) then you are unable to collect unemployment benefits even if you work full time while also going to school (full time or otherwise). This is actually not true. A student can collect unemployment (as long as they have proof of working full time and attending school – which really isn’t all that hard to get).

The problem is unemployment does not tell you this. There is nothing that is easily accessible on their website that gives you this information. A friend of mine applied for unemployment even though he was a student and unemployment sent him a letter rejecting his application and then they turned around, accepted it, and started to give him money, which they later claimed he owed them back + interest because he was a student.

Truthfully, a rather gross error on their part. But the kicker is that there is a waiver you need to fill out when submitting your application that applies solely to students that allows you to legally collect unemployment. However, like I said, nothing of this is actually mentioned on the website, or if it is, it’s buried so deep you will probably never find it. Of course, why would unemployment tell you this? They don’t want to give you money if they don’t have to.

Needless to say the matter went to court and my friend won and can legally collect unemployment. The whole process was drawn out over quite a few months and now he has to apply for an extension for his unemployment as his work still has not called him back yet.

Now, Medicare. All things considered, we pay an ungodly amount in taxes every year for Medicare and Social Security. (When you have to pay in taxes at the end of the year, it’s those two things above which kill you, not state or federal.) However, Medicare is getting more reluctant to pay. My grandmother was in the hospital in June and then again in September of last year. It took until just a few months ago this year before Humana and the hospital finally got Medicare to cough up the money they were supposed to pay from the beginning. And now, Medicare is trying to put into effect that they will not repay for repeat visits and treatments. Meaning if you have to go into the hospital more than once for the same thing, then you are essentially screwed.

For a service that is supposed to help the elderly, especially at a time when it is hardest for them to afford health insurance, Medicare isn’t really all that good. But, I am told that it is really hit and miss. Some people get care and help right away while others are shoved onto a shelf and left to dust.

I have no real hopes that Obama or the government can really do anything to reform health care because even the federal institutions are getting more and more reluctant to help anyone, not to mention, even with all the money paid into these programs vis-a-vis taxes, there is still shortages and a growing national debt.

Where have I heard that before?

My little sister told me that she wants to be a famous writer.  Nothing wrong with dreaming, although we all know the likelihood of them hitting it big is relatively low, especially in this economy, digital age, and the instant gratification factor.

My favorite part about this is the fact that she hates reading.  Now, this could be because of her ESL nightmares, however, I think not. She is enraptured with her movies and television, but can’t be bothered to pick up a book.

Now, I am from the school that to be a good writer, you have to be a good reader.  Am I wrong?  I guess one doesn’t have to read a book to write a book, but it helps.  Especially if you can get your hands on those really special, well-written tomes.

I have always been an avid reader.  I have had stories and poems circulating and percolating in my brain for ages.  But I believe all the literature I have read, and the classes I have took, have made me the better writer.

It really breaks my heart to hear that the majority of children would rather watch tv than curl up with a good book.

Shattered

Our lives are fragmenting, breaking like shattered glass.  Each time we think that we have picked up the pieces and mended it, it breaks again.  The pieces are getting smaller and smaller with each new fracture.

Pieces are missing now.  We can’t find them, perhaps they have turned to dust and been scattered to the wind.  The possibilities are endless as to where they have gone.  All that is known is that our lives shall never be whole, but rather mish-mashed mirrors full of holes, reflecting a refracted image.

That is our lives now. An imperfect image, splintered and divided. No glue, no heat can bind the gaping wounds and fill in the gaps. Nothing can replace what has gone missing, our most precious things.

Minimum Wage Debacle

     Besides the fact that a federal government regulated minimum wage is a joke, let's talk about Michigan's raise.  Now, getting paid $6.95 versus $5.15 is a good thing, however, it is not helpful at all.  First of all, the cost of living demands that we get paid more than this in order to have all the basic necessities.  Unfortunately, a national study proves you need to be making $9 and upwards for that to be happening.  Go figure.  While wages have stagnated, the cost of living skyrocketed.  Joy of joys, people do not understand this.  There are people out their in working poverty who are making minimum wage.  The great thing about minimum wage is that it is not the least amount of money needed to get by.   It is a ploy developed during the New Deal to regulate wages.  They thought having a federally mandated minimum would solve the problems they were facing.  They were wrong.

     Why?  Well, having a minimum, in theory, is an excellent idea, however, in praxis it just doesn't work.  One of the great reasons for this little problem is the fact that the government refuses to raise it even though it is PROVEN that people cannot get by on minimum wage alone.  You have to love the irony of that, because we all know that a good portion of some (if not ALL) congressmen are definitely getting paid way over the minimum value.  Hell, there was a congressman who refused to take a certain job on because he swore to help the people, not take a vow of poverty, and that was for a job that made slightly over $200,000 a year.  Vow of poverty my ass.  You can definitely live more comfortable with that much money a year than you can for, oh lets say $11,000 which is roughly what federal minimum wage gets you.  Heaven forbid you make only 20 times that amount.  People are such freaking idiots!  I am doing my research paper on minimum wage so when I figure out just how the government calculates it and decides how and when to raise it, I will let you know.  It really is a fascinating topic.

*AC Update: the door that never locks has now been fixed.  The mold problem is still ongoing though I have been told that the college might be looking into it now.*

Keep Sharp Objects Hidden!

     So I am taking this class called Class, Status, and Power (sounds kind of redundant calling it a class doesn't it?).  I am enjoying the class; it is putting many things in perspective for me.  First of all, I found out what class I am in.  It is a depressing thought, but who am I to complain, it's just the way things are.  Now social class, as defined by Gilbert, is income based.  So accordingly, I am in the underclass.  And for those of you who don't know or can't guess, that's the lowest class you can be in.  Personally, I have no problem being there.  It's how I lived my entire life, but I would be lying if I said I want to stay there indefinitely.  But here I am getting way off topic.

     I took the GRE this past August and I brought up a question that was asked on the extra section I had to do.  Since this is from the ungraded portion, I doubt they care that I use it.  I was asked the question, "Should the government finance higher education for those who cannot afford it?".  Now, my response was "Hell, yeah!"  This is because of my lovely lack of funds that I say this.  I have one more semester after this one and I only have $800 to my name.  Unfortunately, I am also working on applying to graduate schools so my little supply of money is quickly going to dwindle down the drain.  Now, I bet you're wondering where I am going with this.  While discussing education and social class one class period a girl from my group, the illustrious and rich Miss S, said that she doesn't believe the government should pay for education.

     I can understand that viewpoint if you're going that's our tax dollars being used, but that was not her argument.  No.  Her argument is that the poor get poorer, the rich get richer, so what is the point of paying for poor people to go to college?  If I was a cartoon character you would have seen my jaw hit the table.  I honestly didn't think that she would say that.  The fact that she did with two people in our group in the lower classes, was totally idiotic.  Let's go live in India with their caste system, or better yet, let's go back to Feudal times when social climbing was damned near impossible. (I am not talking about the backstabbing, scheming to land a rich man/woman social climbing, but the work your ass off to better yourself and move up the ladder kind of social climbing.)

     One of the problems with lower classes of people is the fact that they have limited opportunities.  Well, going by S's method we shouldn't let them have any opportunities to further themselves because in the end they'll just end up poorer -- so why bother?  With that attitude, is there a reason for poorer people to exist?  If their life won't get better, but worse, then what have they to live for?  We talked about hope being a driving factor behind the poor.  Take away hope and you have a broken people who really have no point to their existence.  If all poor people thought this way, do you think suicide rates would be higher?

     Just to point out a fact, S is majoring in social work/human services.  She plans on working in social work, which generally entails working with and helping a lower class of people.  Gasp!  How can this capitalist (aka highest you can go on the social/income ladder) class girl with a bad attitude help the less fortunate at all?  It really makes you wonder.  At least it makes me wonder.  Even thinking about it now, four days later, I still shake with anger.  We deserve a chance -- don't take that away from us.

Unbreakable

    No one likes to be reminded how human they are . . . or how human someone else is that they love.  Interesting is it not, that children find their parents infallible?  We put them on pedestals and make them our heroes, but what do we know?  We forget that they are just flesh and blood not Wonder Woman and the Man of Steel.

     I know that my grandfather is just a man, but it's hard to remember someone so strong being so weak at times.  I know that he is not like Superman.  I have seen him hurt and in the hospital before, but it is one of the oddest sights to see.  I hated seeing him connected to machinery, bandaged up, in pain.  But he is only human.  He makes mistakes, he gets hurt, he bleeds.

     I found out two days ago that my grandfather was involved in an accident.  Somehow he fell off our lawnmower and ended up getting run over by the trailer that was attached to it.  He was banged and bruised up after that.  Who wouldn't be?  Grandmother went in to the doctor's.  I don't know if it was only to get a handicap sticker for her vehicle or if she was taking grandpa in because of the accident, but for whatever reason, they were at the doctor's and found out that grandpa had busted ribs.

     One of the body parts your really don't want bruised, cracked, or broken.  I hear ribs are painful to heal and they are very dangerous because broken ribs could puncture lungs.  When I heard that he was injured like that the first thing that came to my mind is that it wasn't possible and then reason took over and said that he is seventy years-old.  The older a person gets the harder it gets for them to heal.  There actually comes a time when older people aren't able to mend broke bones.  It's scary.

     I don't want anything to happen to him.  He is my grandfather, he's like a mighty oak that refuses to bow down to the wind.  Yes, children, even adults get irrational about loved ones.  We want to believe that they are invincible, but the truth is, they never are.

Communications Skills

Communication: a necessity for getting around in today's world.  From family solidarity and understanding to a productive workplace, communication is essential.  Too bad that people forget this.  My dad has communicated nothing about coming to the US, and the people on this campus do not always see fit to tell you what in the world is going on.  It's great.

     How can they expect everything to be set up and ready if they don't tell you there's a group coming in?  Really.  You'd think that as professionals people would know that they have to communicate with one another, but apparently that is taboo.  Why work smoothly when you can run around like a chicken with its head cut off.  Geez Louise.  It's ridiculous with a capital R.

     Also, you'd think family would know to communicate, but no.  Gasp!  That might mean they actually have to talk to one another!  What is up with that?  Failure to communicate leads to failures elsewhere.  You can fail your family, your friends, your coworkers . . . your students.  Funny how practically every college requires a communications course.  Too  bad no one learns from that.  Even if it is just a glorified speech class, it does talk of the importance of communications, saying the right things, talking to people.  Hell, we had a convocation on communications.  Yet, people ignore the fact that if they don't talk to each other things don't get done, get done twice, or are done in a half-assed sort of way.

     Ain't it wonderful.  It's an interesting thing to think about.  How much do you communicate in your life?  Is it enough?  Who knows, but if you have no idea what's going on and why, suffice to say you need more communication.  Either that or you really need a better attention span.  I know I do sometimes.