I Choose to Be

     In Class, Status and Power we were supposed to be talking about what we learned in chapter six via our groups that we were in.  At first my group was on task and the next thing I know S was going off on a tangent to R:  "I am sorry, but I cannot agree with your choice."  Um, and what choice would that be?  Dear little S does not like the fact that R "chooses" to be gay.  Let's just say I wanted to groan and put my head in my hands . . . well I did put my head in my hands, but that is partly due to the fact that I have a horrible sinus headache and the fact that my throat feels like I have claws digging into it.  But, I digress.  I think we were all a little shocked that S said that.  I have heard that argument before.  People can be so obstinate in their opinions that they refuse to look at certain facts.

     One fact that R confesses is that he wished he were "normal."  He would love to be attracted to women so he didn't get beat up by people (his dad beat the crap out of him when he came out of the closet) or ostracized, but he just isn't attracted to the opposite sex.  S says that he made the conscious decision and no matter what D or K said, she would not concede.  I find that quite stubborn, especially in the face of what I have stated previously.  R isn't the only homosexual who asks the question, "Do you think I want to be this way?"  I am not saying there is anything wrong with being homosexual, but even though our society has become more accepting it still carries the undertone that it is wrong and people are still getting beat up for their sexual preferences.  Although, if we call it preferences, isn't that terminology indicative of a choice?  Yes, it is.

     I guess, you could say that someone has a choice whether or not to follow through on their urges, but if a person is naturally inclined to be attracted to a person of the same sex, then what is wrong with that?  Why can't they act on those urges?  My favorite part of this discussion is K's rejoinder to S going "Did you make the decision to be straight."  The look on S's face was priceless.  She didn't know what to do with that question.  K also found out that S was 21 and she said that S will probably change her views, to which S said "no" this is how she believes and she will not let anyone say that she is not right.  This one girl from her high school told S first that she had a girlfriend.  S was polite but told her point blank that she didn't like her decision.  And S said like two years later the girls broke up and her friend is now dating guys.

     Sigh.  Experimentation, orientation.  Must we get into them?  Must we complain about people and how they live their lives?  It was ridiculous.  D and I tried to steer the conversation away from such dangerous ground but S wouldn't let it be.  So we tactfully ignored the conversation and finished our discussion on social succession and mobility between the two of us.  When time was up, S was still blabbering about her beliefs and I was like, "let's just say you agree to disagree."  Enough was enough!  Talking for half an hour on the subject and going nowhere was stupid, pointless, and infuriating.  But heaven forbid that people with strong opinions aren't allowed to try to convert you to their beliefs.  I don't care if you express your opinion, you have that right, but mulishly trying to get others to believe that you are right and they are wrong, is pure, unadulterated crap.

     Sorry, no matter how much you complain and give examples, I don't believe the choice.  Yes, there are choices involved, but in the end it is based on attraction and desire.  You shouldn't have to be with someone you don't really like just to please the phobics out there.